Last week I took the opportunity to do a mini photo session of my four girls… They are maturing and changing at a rapid speed without any regard for my ability or inability to soak up the moments and commit them to memory. These daughters of mine are each so unique, with subtle graces, expressions, quirks, and individual charms. But there is one thing they hold in common with each other and their mother. Presenting in slightly varied forms, their hair is undoubtedly the result of shared genetics. And I will never tire of trying to capture the beauty that it affords these girls of mine.
Today was dreary. Rain clouds loomed and my to-do list was extra long. Even though I know that these kind of external things should not have an effect on my mood, I found myself discouraged and somewhat stressed. The negative aspects of a day can push out the beauty, and stress can distort the good.
As a junior in high school I discovered the thrill of photography. My dad let me use his heavy metal Nikon from the 60s and I experimented with capturing on film what I found to be beautiful and captivating. I’ve personally discovered that the lens of a camera can transform what you see. When you place the viewfinder up to your eye and peer through, the rest of the world disappears. What’s to the right, to the left or behind you is not visible. You are forced to focus on beauty.
Over the years I learned to use my camera as a tool to see what is already there. When my kiddos were tiny and I was weighed down by their whining, needs, and my own exhaustion I would grab my camera and plop them down where the light streamed in through a window and begin snapping. Most of the pictures were not impressive from a technical standpoint, but they revealed to me the stunning beauty of the life I had been gifted with.
Back to today. I walked into my bedroom to see my unmade bed, dusty furniture and laundry on the floor. But then I noticed the stack of pillows with just a tiny bit of light from the overcast sky creeping in through the window. I grabbed my camera (straightened the stack a bit), looked through the lens and snapped the picture. It was tiny thing… only took a minute… but my spirit was lifted and I smiled as I put my camera back on the shelf.
There’s a similar privilege offered to those who know Christ as their Savior. Scripture confirms what we already know about life. It’s not easy. Stress and discouragement creep in constantly. But when we fix our eyes on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, the rest of this world seems to almost disappear. We are able to see what’s in front of us through the lens of the goodness of God and the hope of the Gospel. Not only can we see His gifts, but we can see His grace. Through the lens of Christ, my failures aren’t final…my weaknesses can testify to His strength…broken people and circumstances can be redeemed…light can push through darkness.
You may not be a photographer. You may not be someone who relishes aesthetic things like I do. But regardless, there’s still so much light and beauty to be seen! Slow down, open your eyes, and ask the Creator of all that exists to help you see His goodness and His endless grace. It’s always there.
These are not my flowers. And yet they sit on my kitchen table and smile at me each morning.
A few days ago a friend of mine asked if she could drop them off at our house. Because of various health issues we often are the beneficiaries of flowers and foods that she can’t enjoy.
These flowers embody beauty and pain. Joy and grief. The beauty I see and enjoy… the pain and loss she experiences. Both are present, intertwined and inseparable. I can’t acknowledge one without feeling the other. So I embrace them both.
Life in Christ is always both. Life in community is always both.
“Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships, and calamities; …through glory and dishonor, slander and praise; viewed as imposters, yet genuine; as unknown, yet well-known; dying, and yet we live on; punished, yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” 2 Corinthians 6:4,8-10
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another.” Romans 12:15,16
Our family has spent many days playing dress-up over the years. There have been plenty of princesses, pioneers, super heroes, orphans, and even spies. But in the past couple years the amount of items in the dress-up tubby has significantly decreased. They’ve either become too small or not of interest any longer. But in the Jordan household we still play dress-up. Whether it’s for making movies, pretending to be a mountain climber in the backyard, or posing for photoshoots… we still need an array of interesting outfits! The latter was the case this past week. We dug through back closets in an attempt to find clothes to represent as many different eras as we could. The endeavor resulted in many laughs and more photos than I could possibly share. But here are a few of our favorites. Hope you enjoy looking at these photos as much as we enjoyed creating them!
Nothing says “Homeschool Family” like going out somewhere, all seven of us, in the middle of a school day! Having two girls in high school has limited our ability to go out as family on weekdays, but in years past when we did, I repeated one phrase quite often. As we entered a store, an estate sale, or a restaurant I would tell my kids, “Try not to act weird. Everyone knows you’re homeschooled!” I always said it with a smile, and my kids knew I was mostly joking. But let’s be honest, we all feel that way sometimes! We continually try to keep ourselves from standing out too much, drawing unnecessary attention or especially attracting criticism.
Part of the reason I could smirk and make a comment like that to our kids is based on the fact that they are very comfortable with being weird. In fact, we talk about it all the time. My oldest will laugh at herself and declare, “I’m weird! …which I’m totally okay with!” We are a weird family and frankly that’s the way we prefer it. Homeschooling is often thought of as weird. Having five kids is weird to some. Being part of a pastor’s family can draw unique attention. We like quirky old things. We enjoy sarcasm maybe more than most. And we all have unruly curly hair! I could go on…
But then there are the days when the tone is different. Laughter falls away and a child will come up to me and ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Or feelings of doubt creep in and they question their place in the world and how others view them. This is so common and normal in childhood, but the reality is it’s not just them. Even the most secure adult struggles with the concept of appearing weird at times.
There are endless trivial things that can categorize us as abnormal, but in light of eternity only one area really matters. Only one question really matters when it comes to how others perceive us. Do we reflect Christ and are we willing to look a bit weird doing it? Our need for security and affirmation can prove problematic as the gap between the life of a Christ-follower and the way of the world continues to widen. The enemy knows this, and will exploit our need for acceptance at every turn.
I’m not sure where your mind goes when you picture a believer who stands out in the world. If you’re thinking long denim skirts or extreme stances, that’s not what I’m referring to! Rather, are you willing to hold fast to what scripture calls us to even if the world disagrees? Are you willing to lavish love on an unbeliever even if your friends and family think it’s impractical or unnecessary? Are you willing to forgive when the world says you should seek retribution? Are you willing to lay down your preferences and comforts to preserve peace? Are you willing to truly honor others above yourself in contrast to the world’s insistence that self-focus/love/care is supreme?
This is only possible when we learn to find our identity and security in Christ alone, rather than in the opinions and affirmations of those around us. So are you good with being a bit weird? Not as a way of virtue signaling or gaining attention for yourself, but as a way of pointing others to our good God? May we, the Church, be a collection of weird people who are oddly loving, oddly kind, and oddly concerned about pointing the world to Christ.
“As for my and my house, we will serve the LORD,”….. and be a bit weird. 🙂
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9
The season after the birth of our third little girl was dark for me. Even though she was a miracle of God’s goodness after a very scary pregnancy, I still struggled to find any joy in my beautiful life. During that time, I remember reading somewhere that thanksgiving led to joy. This seemed rational, so I tried to focus my mind on the good things. I made note of each blessing that I shouldn’t take for granted. I told myself… We have a lovely little family, food to eat, clothes to wear, a nice little home…a good life. I should be thankful. I should be joyful.
A few years back, I remember gratitude journals becoming popular. In both faith and secular spheres, we were encouraged to make our daily lists of the things we should be thankful for… the blessings in our lives. While the correlation between gratitude and joy is accurate, I believe it’s incomplete.
Over the past couple months my husband and I have been sorting through and trying to grasp the truths found in the book of Ecclesiastes. The author of this weighty book of scripture, is quick to acknowledge the fleeting nature of life, the futility of our efforts, the injustice of this world, the reality of death, and the existence of Eloheem as Creator and Judge. Yet in contrast, the author also uses words related to joy at least seventeen times in the book! So how do we make the jump? How do we get to the place of joy when this hard life leaves us feeling anything but thankful?
My head began to make the jump as I read these verses from the third chapter of Ecclesiastes: “I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts” (v.12,13).
This life is a GIFT! All the good that can be enjoyed, all the daily pleasures, are a gift. But the depth of this can only be understood in the character of the One giving the gift. This is the same God that gave us the gift of salvation through His Son…a good and extravagantly generous God. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephes. 2:8). The same God who graciously gave His life for us so that we could have eternal life, offers us the beautiful gift of life here on earth. True gratitude comes from understanding that we’ve been given a gift we don’t deserve, from a God who delights to give good gifts.
Chapter 1 in the book of James suggests that the author was familiar with the truths in Ecclesiastes. He says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (v. 17). And Romans 8:31-32 also expresses the generous nature of our God. “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”
To me this is literally life changing. I don’t think we understand how truly good and kind our God is! Through the power of the Holy Spirit, our eyes can be opened to the daily gifts of each day. It’s not enough to merely acknowledge the good things in life. This is as empty as a child being told to say thank you when he has no genuine appreciation for something. Rather our gratitude is a heart response to a surprisingly wonderful gift. Rightly, we joyfully acknowledge the gift of our salvation. But how often do we turn up our nose at or even scoff at His daily gifts found within this life? We deceive ourselves believing the joy is found in the accomplishment, in the result, in the success. But the joy is in the gift! Something, just like our salvation, that we don’t deserve and we can’t earn or accomplish by our efforts!
Life is fleeting, like Ecclesiastes says. But it’s not meaningless. Mysteriously wrapped in the moments of our days are beautiful God-crafted gifts that He longs for us to see and enjoy. This doesn’t mean that life suddenly becomes perfect or easy. The dark days still come and trials are alway right around the corner for the believer. But the ability to see the gifts scattered within it all enables us to turn our minds back to our God, back to the one who loved us enough to generously give His life for us. And then as joy pushes up through pain, we can truly say that “the joy of the Lord is my strength.”
Sunlight streaming through a window. The satisfaction of a completed task. The smell of clean laundry. A hot shower. The affection of a spouse. Laughter and good food. The messes of children. The turn of a season. The company of a pet. The quiet of night. Talking around a table with friends. They are all meant to be enjoyed. They are all meant to be received humbly and joyfully from the hand of our Creator . And when we do, He receives the glory due His name… His good, kind, generous name.
If you’re like me and enjoy getting creative with paper, then you mostly have little piles of scraps laying around. These cute little scrap pads are perfect for using up all those pretty paper bits! Plus, the best part about these pads…besides being so aesthetically pleasing…. is that you can tear the sheets out!
What you’ll need:
scrap paper pieces: ledger paper, book pages, printed papers, old wallpaper, magazine pages, etc.
a sewing machine
What to do:
Stack up your papers, starting with the largest scraps on the bottom. Then run them through your sewing machine! It’s pretty straight forward! But here’s a few tips that I figured out after making quite a few of them.
use papers of similar weight in each pad…. this is important since you’ll need to adjust the stitch length based on how thick your papers are.
use a shorter stitch length for thicker papers. I use a 1.5 for card stock and a 2.5 for thinner/softer papers like old book pages. This part will require a bit of experimenting to figure out the best length for your papers. You want the stitches close enough together that the pages come out easily, but not so close that they fall out too easily.
leave at least a 1/2 inch margin at the top, so that you have something to hold on to as you tear out each sheet.
That’s pretty much it! You’re itching to go make some, aren’t you? Then go!
Today I am Mama to five kids, ages 16 down to almost eight. But for 12 solid years I was Mama to someone in diapers. I have experienced so much mothering in the trenches, those days and years when you wonder what any of it is accomplishing. I could tell you so many stories, but instead I’ll share the progression… because someday, Mama, your Littles will become so much more than just the humans you care for. I promise.
Let’s start with Alice. She was born stubborn. She refused to nurse normally or go to sleep on her own. She would silently pee in her car seat as a three year old and stoically watch me come unglued when I realized it. She didn’t respond to spankings or emotional exhortations. She simply did not care about what Mama said. I didn’t think I would survive Alice’s quiet resolve to defy me at every turn. But God had Alice and He took hold of her heart. Today she is the sweetest friend to me. Her defiance gave way to an eagerness to please. And her remaining stubbornness now creates a firm resolve to cling to Christ and His ways. She stubbornly refuses to give up on people and has a quiet confidence in who she is as a daughter of the King. The first born who once challenged me in every way, is now challenging me by her example.
As a baby, Elsie loved to cuddle. This was so lovely after Alice, who didn’t want to be held too close and wasn’t very affectionate. For me, Elsie was an easy baby initially. She was easy to rock to sleep, she was sweet, happy and snuggly. But for everyone else, Elsie proved problematic. She screamed and screamed if anyone else held her. So eventually I became weary because my easy baby was becoming a very needy baby. I was exhausted from being the only one who could care for her. I was the only one who could feed her, put her to sleep, hold her, comfort her. But Elsie slowly learned to need me less. And ironically, God grew her into a young lady who is gifted at nurturing and caring for others. As soon as Elsie learned to read well, I recognized something special in her. She would gather the other kids and read to them. She was like a miniature mama, gathering her Littles beside her to teach them and nurture them. Now Elsie is the first to offer to help with her younger siblings’ school work. What an amazing help when you’re homeschooling five kids! I can’t count the number of times she has offered to do Lucy’s school lessons with her. She loves to care for other peoples babies and little ones, as well. And is quick to serve in anyway she can. The neediest baby grew into the sweetest helper.
My youngest three, Sadie, Virgil, and Lucy are still in the maturing process, but I have to chuckle at how different life is now compared to seven years ago. I remember working so hard to get all of my Littles dressed and presentable for church. I was exhausted by the time we got everyone loaded into the car. But my work was just beginning. The entire time at church I was on high alert, trying to keep my Littles in sight and out of trouble. Almost every Sunday during that season, Virgil would slip away and go missing. He was three and very very busy. I would get caught trying to engage with a church member, only to realize that I didn’t know where Virgil was. One particular Sunday, after a fair amount of searching, someone found V hiding in the kitchen pantry eating sugar packets. I was so embarrassed. I remember feeling like such a failure as a mom and pastor’s wife. Now the same children who once seemed to hold me back from ministering and participating in church are learning to be the Church. They all serve wherever they can. They love engaging with other believers. They are eager to do whatever they can to take pressure off of me. The babies I was once tripping over are now my co-laborers in Christ.
Our kids are not our own, which is a challenging but freeing reality. In every season we have a Faithful God who is shaping and growing our Littles. So keep pressing forward, Mama! There is joy as we seek to raise our children in obedience to God’s word. The results aren’t up to us, but our Good God is in control and we can trust Him for who they will become.
“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will do it….Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him” Psalm 37:5,7
Our home was an unexpected gift from a good God who provides for His children. When we moved into this house, we had three little girls…ages 6, 3, and 2, and a three bedroom ranch style home seemed so spacious! 10 years and two babies later, it’s the same amazing gift, but it seems a bit cozier than it did in those early days!
Over the years we’ve tried almost every possible combination of bedroom living arrangements. But as the kiddos grew, the lopsided nature of four girls in one room, and our son in the other became too glaring. Especially with two of the girls being teenagers!
While our kids have hardly ever complained about the tight living quarters, Jeremy and I became determined to figure out another arrangement. Again, God provided the perfect solution for this stage of life. Our home has a back “bonus” room off of our kitchen, which also connects to our living room. Initially it was a TV/ toy room, then a family room, and eventually it became my office. We had never seriously considered turning it into a bedroom because it would make the kitchen seem small and closed off, not to mention it would disrupt the wonderful flow that our house has. Then out of the blue, the idea of french doors popped into our heads! They would still let light through and could be left open during the day! No, a bedroom off the kitchen isn’t 100% ideal, but it is definitely preferable to four big girls in a little room!
So let me just jump to the conclusion. Putting our oldest girls, Alice and Elsie in this new room has been literally life changing for our daily living as a family! Everyone has the space they need now! There’s still more work to be done: curtains for the french doors, a small sliding “barn door” cover for a window into the room from the kitchen, a real door off of the living room into the room, and turning the present storage closet into a fully functioning clothes closet. But even in its incomplete state, the girls are thrilled in their new space. Such a blessing.
The girls and I decided on a 1970s decor for the room. They were inspired by Mary’s apartment in The Mary Tyler Moore show. So lots of yellow, shades of green, wood, wicker, owls, and plants! We all love how it turned out. Take a peek!
When each of my babies were around 4 weeks old they lost a good portion of their hair. This was a particularly sad occurrence with my first two girls who had beautiful dark hair at birth. I remember with my first, I cried. Silly maybe, but it mattered to me. Of course the hair grew back, and now our family is marked by borderline extreme amounts of hair! ….five curly headed girls, a mop-top boy, and a dad with huge beard.
In Matthew 10, Jesus gives His disciples instructions about going out and announcing the kingdom of heaven. But His instructions hold unsettling details about what the disciples inevitably must face. He says, “Look I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.” Jesus informs them that they will suffer and be hated, as they proclaim His name.
But it’s within this passage that Jesus also says, “Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Jesus doesn’t say that they don’t need to be afraid because He will shelter them from the suffering, from the evil, from the brokenness of the world. No, He tells them they don’t need to be afraid because He is well aware…and in control. Not a single tiny sparrow falls to the ground without our God giving permission. Not a single hair is lost from a baby’s head, without our Father allowing it. We have a Savior, a God who is not oblivious. He is not distant or disengaged. He walks with us as we walk through this life, and not a single moment slips through His fingers or is out of His control.
I was comforted by this truth 16 years ago when my baby began to look like a very tiny, very cute balding old man. Jesus’ words from Matthew 10 were actually shared at my baby shower, at the exact time those dark little hairs began to fall out. I remember smiling to myself, realizing that my God intentionally provided that little reminder for me. He was aware of my fear, my emotions then, and He’s still aware now.
We live in a potentially overwhelming world, where fear threatens to creep in from all sides. And we will undoubtedly face hard things. But from the small details to the life changing trials, He continues to be aware and meet us in those places. He sees. He cares. And He’s in control.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah, 41:10
